Gracey

Earlier this week I learned that my friend, Joe Gracey, lost his battle with cancer and I wept. It was not entirely unexpected. It was his third strike. I had wished him happy birthday on Monday and on Wednesday he was gone. I scrolled through his birthday wishes on Facebook. They went straight from belated wishes on Tuesday evening to condolences on Wednesday. You should read the article linked HERE before going on. It is from September as Joe was going through his last rounds of treatment in Houston.

I first encountered Joe around 1998. His wife, Kimmie Rhodes, had just released her compilation album, “Jackalopes, Moons and Angels”, on their own label. I reached out to Joe in order to get stock for Village Records and over the course of several emails made the arrangements and developed a rapport. I knew nothing about Joe’s background at all. I remember mentioning this to my friend, Jack, who quickly filled me in. If you read the attached article you will see that he was instrumental in promoting what would become known as “progressive country” when he was a deejay at KOKE in Austin. Later he was the first talent coordinator for the PBS program “Live From Austin City Limits”. I don’t know if Austin would be the music center it is without Gracey, and perhaps South By Southwest might not have come to be. I also learned the he was the producer of my favourite Willie Nelson album, “Spirit”, in 1996. Had I known all these things I might have been a bit intimidated to even approach him.

Later that summer Toni and I went to Twangfest 2 in St. Louis. It was three consecutive nights of music with five bands playing one hour sets each night at Off Broadway. Kimmie Rhodes was on the lineup for the final night and Joe was along playing bass in her band. Kimmie was doing a short set instore at Vintage Vinyl that afternoon. It was a great set of four songs or so. Afterwards we met Joe face to face for the first time. He had his ever present Magic Slate®. You know the little kid’s toy that you write on with a stylus and then peel up the plastic sheet to erase your scribbles and write again on the freshen “slate”. They always have some cartoon character at the top. I still remember that day it was Batman and Robin. He scribbled furiously and flipped the sheet in the blink of an eye. He gave me another box of Kimmie’s CDs to take back to Kansas City for the store. Later we reconnected at the show. After their great set the crowd gathered around the couple. Everyone in the room knew Joe and he knew them. Things settled down for the remaining two sets and suddenly Joe came over to where I was seated and sidled up next to me. He pulled out his slate and we jotted notes silently back and forth the rest of the evening while the music played. We were laughing and joking without disturbing anyone around us.

We stayed in touch over the years with the email chatter increasing whenever there was a new release from Kimmie. But it was always more than just business. He would always interject some extra bit. Sometimes it would be a chilli recipe. Cooking was a huge passion. We would also discuss our love for wine, our common desire to one day retire to France, and our shared knowledge that there was only one car on the road that was worth owning, the Miata. We both loved our Mazdas. Driving them with the top down was like nothing else that was a place where disabilities did not exist for the moment.

He also shared stories. My favourite involved Stevie Ray Vaughan. Joe was producing SRV’s first album (which to this day remains unreleased) in his Electric Graceyland Recording Studio. I don’t recall the exact details but at some point Stevie disappeared for a few days. I think there were some drugs or other intoxicants involved. Up to this point he was dressing much the same as his fellow Austin musicians and pretty much blending in with the scene. However, when he resurfaced he had “become” the Stevie Ray Vaughan we eventually came to know, the hat and all the draping clothing, buckles and bangles. I don’t believe any explanation was ever offered. It almost seems like one of those fantastic superhero origin stories complete with the costume.
Out next meeting took place in London 2008. We had tickets to see Emmylou Harris the Hammersmith Odeon. When I found out that Kimmie was the opening act I immediately fired off an email to Joe to see if we could hook up. Their schedule was extremely tight but we were able to arrange to get together backstage after the concert. It took a little while but we finally managed to get to the meet and greet area. I looked around but no Gracey to be seen. I tracked down their road manager and she told me he was down in lobby looking for us! She quickly found him and we finally had our reunion half way across the world. We were there ostensibly to meet Emmylou but all I cared about then was reconnecting with Joe and Kimmie. Again the worn Magic Slate was getting a big workout. We were comparing notes on our UK travels. I told him about our following week when we would be renting a car and driving in Northern Scotland. Joe was giving me tips on how to maneuver through the roundabouts. I can still see his crazy diagram on his slate with the curved arrows going off every which way.

There we were: the guy who couldn’t talk and the guy who couldn’t walk, betrayed by our bodies, living some great adventures and interacting. This was all due to the worlds opened up to both of us by the internet and email. But even before that Joe had given me the inspiration to get out and not be embarrassed and self conscious about not being able to do all the things that were once taken for granted. He never let his illnesses define him. There are workarounds. It would so much easier to give up, stay in the comfort zone, stop pushing the envelope, and cave in to the frustrations of no longer doing things like everyone else. I think of all the experiences I have had the last few years and I could have easily missed out on all of them if I had not had Gracey’s example to get me to the right frame of mind to successfully ignore what I can’t do and to focus on what I can do.

ADDENDUM:
The KOKE FM studios were renamed the “Joe Gracey Memorial Broadcast Radio Studios” Thursday, August 2, 2012.

Grandpa's 1936 Indian

This is a photo I took at Boxhill in Surrey UK. Part of the song takes place here. It is still a biker hangout and lover's lane.

One of my favourite songs is Richard Thompson’s “1952 Vincent Black Lightning”. It is a tragic romance story song that revolves around the singer’s love for both his redheaded girlfriend and also that of his motorcycle. Whenever I hear the song I think of my Canadian grandparents for a couple of different reasons. They first met in the 1930s when she asked him to give her a ride on his motorcycle. The characters in the song, James and Molly, met in a similar way when she gets a ride on his Vincent motorcycle. The song contains a line about the superiority of the Vincent over other makes, Nortons, Indians, or Greeves, won’t do. Grandpa’s motorcycle was an Indian and he would often fondly reminisce about it thirty or forty years later.

The week before his wedding my grandfather had a minor accident with his bike. Nothing serious, he was dinged up but no broken bones and nothing so bad as to postpone his marriage. However, his new bride insisted that he get rid of the Indian immediately. The motorcycle must have been hard for Grandpa to part with. I am sure it was his first vehicle and it surely represented some incredible freedom for a young man in the midst of the Great Depression. He managed to hold a job the whole time and he was helping to support his mother and younger siblings since his father had abandoned the family. Somehow he still managed to put away enough to buy the Indian. However, it must not have been the most practical mode of transportation in Montreal winters.

In the late 1960s Grandpa bought a brand new 307 Camaro and drove it for twenty years. I guess he never completely got over his love for sporty machines.

This is not a photo of his bike but it is a restoration of one from that era.

Grigsbys' Visit

This is our lunchtime view of Niagara Falls from the restaurant.

Keith and Barb at a restaurant just off Yonge Street after a long day of sightseeing.
They look like they are ready for more.

That is the Holiday Inn on the right and our apartment building on the left.
Temporarily we were neighbours once again.

Wow! Here it is November and I am just now getting around to writing about our visitors from September! No excuses.

Barb and Keith were great neighbours from our Lake Quivira days. They have been practically members of our extended Lavery family for a very long time. Barb went to Bishop Miege High School with my youngest aunt, Theresa Boydston, and they have maintained their friendship over the years. In addition Barb and Keith lived a couple of doors over from my Uncle Frank and Aunt Ann for a very long time and were frequently included in many family parties. They moved to Quivira a couple of years after we did and Keith and I immediately started golfing together on a weekly basis. It worked out well as we both had pretty high handicaps but we shared a tremendous enthusiasm for playing. We were also both flexible enough to call each other up at the last minute and arrange to be teeing up on the course in thirty minutes or so.

The Grigsbys stayed at the Holiday Inn immediately to the east of our building. This was incredibly handy for our daily excursions. Keith could still get his morning jogging in and still be ready to roll when the rest of us got our acts together. Barb and Toni had put their heads together for an extremely full itinerary for the week. It was a nice mix of places we had been to before and others that we had not experienced yet.

We were lucky to have dry weather that was just a touch on the warm side so we wound up going on foot the whole time. A walking tour of the University of Toronto campus was first. From there we went on up to Bloor and the Royal Ontario Museum or ROM. We spent most of the day there and hardly saw half of the exhibits. Since we were in the area I suggested that Barb, who is a librarian at the Johnson County Central Resource Library that we go a couple of blocks over to see the Toronto Reference Library. Barb managed to get a behind doors tour and learned that this is the second busiest reference library in the world. When she was asked to guess the busiest library Barb did not hesitate to say Hong Kong and of course she was correct as she has also been to that location.

We rented a car one day and returned to Niagara Falls. Although Toni had been there just a few weeks earlier she was just as entranced as the rest of the group. Again, on the way back we detoured to Niagara on the Lake where we had drinks at the Cork Winebar and later for dinner went to The Shaw Café where Keith and I both had fish and chips. We agreed it was the best either of us ever tasted. You should check the link to see how beautiful this place is.

We spent most of another day returning to Toronto Islands to see the cottages and to finally check out The Rectory Café on Wards Island where we enjoyed the back patio setting.

No trip would be complete without the big splurge dining experience. For us this time it was Canoe. We had heard great things about it and we knew the view would be spectacular as it is situated some 50+ floors up at the top of one the downtown bank buildings. From there you can see most of the western end of Lake Ontario and the CN Tower looks like you could just reach out and touch it.

More photos: HERE

It was over four years ago that Toni and I shared our long term plan with the Grigsbys. That was our plan of selling our house and moving to Canada. They were the very first people we told about it so it only seems fitting that they should also be our first visitors from the States and in a way complete the circle.